The True Story of Link
by Uiemad
Summary: link on his quest for zelda (orcarina of time) *this is my friends story*
1. A New Beginning

THE TRUE STORY OF LINK  
CHAPTER 1  
  
*One day, as 8 year old Link was walking through the woods, he was confronted by a fairy.*  
  
Link: What the hell it that blinky thing that keeps flying around my head and anoys me?  
  
Fairy: I'm your fairy Dumbass!  
  
Link: o  
  
Link: -_-  
  
Fairy: My name is Navi  
  
Link: Sure, whatever.can I play my video games now?  
  
Navi: No dammit! You don't know who I am-  
  
Link: Yes I do, you're a fairy-der!  
  
Navi: *sigh* ok, well I guess I am- but that's no the point! I'm here to tell you about the quest you're about to embark upon!  
  
Link: But I just bought a GameCube and it's sooo cool and I have this really cool game called-  
  
Navi: Listen! Shut up for about 3 minutes!  
  
Link: 0_0  
  
Navi: Let me start over, a long time ago, an evil person guy named Ganondarf is going to kill Zelda!  
  
Link: Why?  
  
Navi: Cause he's evil dumbass! MAN YOUR SLOW!  
  
Link: ^_^  
  
Navi: Anywho, Zelda is a princess who has the power of wisdom from the Triforce and Nyru-  
  
Link: Slow down there Pixie Stick. What's a wisdom and a princess.  
  
Navi: -_-  
  
Navi: Well, I'll tell you stuff you actually need to know-first, the Triforce is the 3 things that made the world; Din, goddess of fire on the top of the Triforce who uses power, Farora (not sure how to spell) the goddess of wind is on the right (I think) uses courage, and Nyru, the goddess of love is on the left (I think) uses wisdom.  
  
Link: zzzzzzzzzz  
  
Navi: Wake up Lazy Ass!  
  
Link: Huh? What?  
  
Navi: Well it is time young child to begin your quest for Zelda! I shall fallow and help.  
  
Link: Oh Fuck, a Gayass Pixie Stick that's gonna follow me for the rest of my life!  
  
Navi: You RETARD, you wouldn't last a second without me! Now we must start are quest- .but not till the next Chapter.  
  
Link: Aw Dammit, I wanna find out what happens!  
  
Navi: You'll get your chance!  
  
END!  
  
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	2. The Quest Continues

THE TRUE STORY OF LINK  
CHAPTER 2  
  
*When we last left off in the story, Link had met Navi and started to embark upon his quest for Zelda. Link just wanted to play his GameCube but Navi insisted for him to go find a sword and a shield to go see Deku Tree.*  
  
Link: Okay Navi, how do I get a sword?  
  
Navi: Well, this is the easiest part of the game Stupid Fuck, figure it out!  
  
Link: Fine. I think I'll just use THIS!  
  
*Link Pulls out a LENGEND OF ZELDA PLAYER'S GUIDE*  
  
Link: It say's here to go up to a small hole and click A. This sucks! Now I have to go climb though a hole while I could be playing GameCube!  
  
Navi: Just do it!  
  
Link: Fine!  
  
*Link Climbs through the small hole by clicking A and then is crushed by a huge bolder!*  
  
Link: AHHHH! *said in girlish voice*  
  
Link: Oook.I'll just follow this path and-hey look, a giant treasure chest!  
  
*Link opens it and leans inside (insert curious music here) and finds: (dun dun dun da!) a swor-knife!*  
  
Link: What! NO!!!!! The player's guide and the game calls it a sword but this is definitely a stupid knife-or more of a dagger! How am I supposed to be a hero with this!  
  
Navi: Listen! Use the sword-  
  
Link: Knife  
  
Navi: -_- Fine, knife to cut plants and kill enemies.  
  
Link: Okay.now what?  
  
Navi: Go find the shield and talk to people!  
  
*After a long time of walking and talking and getting rupees, Link FINALY found the shop and then bought the shield and then talked to Mido (I think that's his name) and then went to the Great Deku Tree and then defeated the evil Spider thingy (Narrator pauses to take a breathe) and then he talked to Saria and then got the ocarina and then talked to the stupid owl who freakin turns it's head upside down like its possessed like it's from the movie The Exorcist and then got in Hyrule Field. (Narrarator lets breathe out)*  
  
Link: Man that was long and gay. Now what do I do?  
  
Navi: I don't know, let's ask the author.  
  
*Link and Navi both turn toward the Author but the Author forgot what happens so he's gonna try to remember*  
  
Link: Let's go see Zelda, and look through the stupid villages.  
  
Navi: Okay, it's not like I have a choice. The only thing I get to do is target, follow, and hide in your smelly hood!  
  
Link: Right.so anywho, Let's go find Zelda and Impa.  
  
Navi: How do you know about Impa?  
  
Link: The author told me about her an about Sheik and she's really-(has been cut out of this fic so people that are retarded or haven't played the game will not know the truth because they cannot handle the truth and they'll just deny it)  
  
Link: What's that thingamabob?  
  
Thingamabob: I am Ganondorf!  
  
Link: Hey! You're from my dream!  
  
Thingamabob: Yes I am! Brew HA HA!  
  
Link: Are you a stalker too, cause how would you know about my dreams?  
  
Thingamabob: Well.um.eh.Shut up insolent fool!  
  
Link: You know what's really funny?  
  
Thingamabob: What?  
  
Link: The Author forgot to change your name to Ganondorf! LOL!  
  
Ganondorf: Huh? No he didn't! Ganondorf: My name is fine!  
  
Link: Look further toward the top of the fic  
  
Ganondorf: NO!!!  
  
Link: So.can I talk to Zelda now?  
  
Thingamabob: Um.yeah.I guess  
  
Link: Okay, thanks but *laughing histarically* he changed your name back to Thingamabob!  
  
Thingamabob: NO!!!!!!! I am the Great Ganondorf! Change it back!  
  
Author: Fine!  
  
Ganondorf: Thanks.Oh.I thought I'd tell you that near the end of the game Link kills me and he thinks he won but then I turn into Ganon.  
  
Author: How do you know?  
  
Ganondorf: I like to read  
  
Navi: CAN WE GET ON WITH THE FUCKIN FIC!  
  
Link: Um.sure  
  
*Link talks to Zelda and then learns his first song: Zelda's Lullaby*  
  
Link: Well, I guess this is the end of the Chapter  
  
Navi: I wonder what crazy adventures we'll come across?  
  
Link: Shut Up!  
  
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	3. The 2nd Spiritual Stone

THE TRUE STORY OF LINK  
CHAPTER 3  
  
*When we last left off in the story, Link started talking to Zelda and he and learned his first song. He is now gonna go find the second spiritual stone.*  
  
Link: So, in the players guide it says to go to Goron mountain and get the second spiritual stone.  
  
Navi: Did we ever get the first one?  
  
Link: Yeah. When I defeated the Spider thingy back in the second chapter, the stupid author forgot to right it.  
  
Navi: O  
  
Link: I'm gonna buy the Hyrule Shield.  
  
Navi: Okay  
  
Link: And play the target game.  
  
Navi: We can't be here all day!  
  
Link: And play the bombchu game!  
  
Navi: LINK!  
  
Link: Whaaat?  
  
Navi: Let's just do this  
  
Link: Okay, first the target game  
  
*Entered the target game. (carnival music starts playing)*  
  
Man at Front Desk: Do you want to play a target game? It's a game for adults, only 20 rupees to play.  
  
Link: But I only have 16  
  
Man at Front Desk: You don't have enough rupees  
  
Link: What..?...I had to walk through bushs and Shit to get this stuff. And even took a part time job as a drug dealer! (Link Blushes) Well..um...er..I was joking about that last part(Link turns cherry red) Man at Front Desk: Sorry Kid, this game doesn't let me let you play unless you have 20 rupees  
  
Link: FUCK YOU AND YOUR GAYASS RULES!  
  
*Link takes out own Sling Shot and shots the rupees and wins a piece of a heart*  
  
Link: FUCK YOU AND YOU GAY BELIEF SYSTEM!  
  
Navi: Watch your mouth young man!  
  
Link: FUCK YOU YOU DAMN TASTY PIXIE STICK! MAN I LOVE WILLIE WONKA!  
  
Navi: -_-  
  
*Link and Navi set out goron mountain and find a giant goron.*  
  
Link: What the Fuck is that?  
  
Goron: I'm a goron.  
  
Link: Right *rolls eyes*  
  
Goron: I' looking for something green.something like a forest. something natural.  
  
Link: That's real specific!  
  
Goron: Just play the fuckin' Saria's Song!  
  
Link: Okay  
  
*Link plays Saria's Song and goron starts dancing*  
  
Goron: Wow.that was great. its soo cool.so green!  
  
Goron: Here is a thing that will let you pick up the bomb flowers called a power braclet.  
  
Link: Well that's a gay name! Why don't you call it the golden strength!  
  
Goron: Cause that's worse!  
  
Link: I see -_-  
  
Goron: Just save our mountain already!  
  
*Link saves the gorons from the dongo thingamabob*  
  
Thingamabob: Did someone say my name?  
  
Link: What the Fuck are you doin' here?  
  
Thingamabob: Um.er.well I.SHUT UP!  
  
*Link gets the second spiratual stone*  
  
Navi: Finally this chapter is over!  
  
Link: It's not over till I stop talking!  
  
Navi: Well then stop talking dumbass!  
  
Link: NEVER!!!!  
  
*Navi jumps on Link and covers his mouth till he faints* 


End file.
